“I, the light, have come into the world” (John 12:46)
Jesus speaks about choices in today’s Gospel (John 12:44-50): between human praise or God’s approval, between politically-correct ideals or the values of God, between the darkness of sin and death or the light that helps us to see God’s presence, guidance and promise.
If all but knew the gift of God!
Exclaims Eugene, recalling his conversion:
… Judging by the consolations God was pleased to give me at that happy moment when I chose him as my inheritance.
From the vantage point of the Savior, he looked at those around him who were lost and directionless.
A single glance, fixed with courage on God and on all that God contains, would undeceive them to their great advantage. Unfortunately, they dare not raise their eyes to see the light that shines in every direction.
Letter to his mother, 18 December 1808, EO XIV n 36
We have choices to make in these ongoing scary and uncertain days: lockdown, personal freedom, masks, precautions and respect for those around me, the desperation of people to work, the long food lines… The Light has come into the world, how do I allow it to enlighten my choices, to reflect light and to spread light today in response? Remember St John Newman’s magnificent prayer: “Lead, kindly Light, amidst the night’s encircling gloom…”
“…when I chose him as my inheritance.” The image in my mind is of Eugene looking at Jesus on the Cross, experiencing, not simply passively watching but experiencing Jesus dying on the Cross, all the while knowing deep within himself that Jesus was surrendering everything out of love. In moments such as these there is a place within us that we are given the grace to realise the full truth of that even if we do not consciously experience the full depth of what it means. And then Eugene said yes – he chose to join with this Jesus as he was dying on the cross. The Cross, Jesus on the cross – and this is indeed is what Eugene chose as his inheritance. To see through the eyes of our crucified Saviour.
“The Light has come into the world, how do I allow it to enlighten my choices, to reflect light and to spread light today in response?” For some reason I think of Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus who take Jesus from the cross and “anoint” him, preparing him for burial. They somehow found light by embracing the darkness for the Light of the resurrection had not yet been revealed and yet they chose and accepted their inheritance.
I am reminded of Eugene’s words when he later spoke of his conversion experience, of being too late – perhaps in the same light as Joseph and Nicodemus. It all moved from the ‘doing’ of things to being. What might this look like in how I greet and enter into this day?