“The sheep that belong to me listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me. I give them eternal life; they will never be lost” (John 10:27-28)
The Shepherd has two credentials: his intimacy with his sheep (he knows them and they know him) and his total dedication of proving his unconditional love by laying down his life to protect them.
To “know” in today’s Gospel (John 10:22-30) refers to a deep mutual relationship which is built on personal contact and the experience of communion.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” says the prophet Jeremiah (31:3). Isaiah reminds us: “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” (49:15)
Eugene expressed the same experience reflected on himself as having been the prodigal son:
O my God, don’t I have every reason to devote myself entirely to your service, to offer you my life and all that I am, so that all that is in me may be employed and spent for your glory? For by how many titles do I belong to you? Not only are you my Creator and Redeemer, as you are all men’s, but you are my special benefactor and applied your merits in an altogether special way to me; my generous friend, you forgot all my acts of ingratitude to help me as powerfully as if I had been always faithful to you; my tender father, who carried this rebel on your shoulders, warmed him against your heart, washed his wounds. (XIV:95)
Today, let us focus on that intimacy that we know and are known by the Good Shepherd. Let us make time to savor that intimacy today – proved by his not abandoning us in difficulty, but laying down his life for us. In our dark and difficult days, he sustains us and gives everything for us.
Once again I find myself struggling with some of Eugene’s words; it is as if I am divided, as if my very soul is divided. “For by how many titles do I belong to you?”
There is within me a desire to say yes Lord I belong to you – but the word ‘belong’ captures me and I find myself wanting to fight it – as if I am something to be owned. My wounds seem to cry out and battle against this. Yet at the same time I remember your very words to me: “Eleanor, I love you; you are mine…” Yes, I am yours! So why do I struggle with a few words. Your words were not said in control, in anger or violence but were wrapped in tenderness and light, freedom, acceptance, forgiveness, love… Pure love which has its own brilliance. Indeed if there were chains they were forged in love and which I myself slipped into and still wear. The people who saw me come out of that room where we met said I looked like a new person; the hardness was gone from my face and my eyes – I was transformed. I had dropped my armour and my shield. Yes lord I do belong to you.
I am reminded for a moment of Peter who wanted to refuse to allow you to wash his feet. And how when you explained to him he cried out to you to wash his feet and his hands and his head. I am more like Peter than I care to admit.
I look again at what Eugene said and Frank has written. I wonder for a moment why I find it so necessary to fight you at every turn, to push imaginary boundaries that exist only in my mind; much as a child does with its mother and father. I think of the patience that a shepherd has, endless patience with the sheep, the smallest and the most lost. Yes Lord, you are my shepherd even though the image is not always my favourite for sheep only look perfectly cute in a picture and the reality is like my humanness. This morning I think of the image of the beloved disciple. That is who I ask to be even as you carry me on your shoulder and warm me against your heart.