While looking forward to Victor Arnoux’s ordination, Eugene received the news that this young man had become seriously ill.
I will speak first of what concerns me most, this being the state of our holy Bro. Arnoux. I cannot console myself while knowing he is at grips with death, and it seems I hear at every moment some fatal announcement.
The scholastic, Arnoux’s parents were known to Eugene and so he expresses his concern for them.
My sorrow increases with the grief in which I see his truly good father, abounding with wisdom as with religion. He would be appreciative to know precisely the state of the malady for both he and his wife would be in despair were their dear child to die without their having had the consolation of seeing and embracing him. Write to him then directly to tell him frankly how things are and whether in putting off their appearance at Aix until the time of the fair of Beaucaire, that is to say, towards the 16th of next month, they may run the risk of not seeing their child again. You can state frankly the situation just as it is. If the case is urgent, whatever the affairs which keep them at Gap, they will leave everything ….
I am not in favour that we send away from our communities our sick when they are in danger of death. They have the right to a care of the best order and the consolation of dying in the arms of their brothers is certainly something for a good religious who knows the value of supernatural aids.
Letter to Hippolyte Courtès, 26 June 1826, EO VII n 249
“If a man hasn’t discovered something that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is of no great importance, but I find myself going first to the writings of St. Eugene to discover if he is finally at home before being able to settle into any reflection.
I love this little reminder that Eugene sends to Hippolyte Courtès, that Victor Arnoux belongs not just to the Oblates but to his birth family as well. I remember what it was like when my mother was dying and so I flew home to the other side of the country. But one of the family members decided that I did not ‘need’ to be with her when she actually died. My moving away to the far side of the country seemed to indicate to some that I no longer loved her and so did not need to be at the hospital as she died. I had not been there to care for her and did not deserve a place. That still hurts and sits uneasy with me more than 10 years later (I guess I need to work on that and let it go). But Eugene’s open heart towards Victor’s family, his awareness of their needs is such a gift. He has made them a part of the Oblate family, acknowledged them and wants to ensure that they are not forgotten in all of this.
“I am not in favour that we send away from our communities our sick when they are in danger of death. They have the right to a care of the best order and the consolation of dying in the arms of their brothers is certainly something for a good religious who knows the value of supernatural aids.” This too is about living in community, belonging to and being a part of… He speaks to how we continue to live as family even once our self-perceived ‘usefulness’ is gone. Our presence with the others, their presence with us, this is where we will all find grace and life.