… we pronounced our vows with an indescribable joy. We savoured our happiness throughout this beautiful night, in the presence of Our Lord, at the foot of the magnificent throne where we had placed Him for the Mass of the Pre-sanctified the following day..
Rambert I, p. 187
Reading Eugene’s description of the night of their vows one is able to sense the beauty of the gesture of oblation and its importance for him. As he speaks of the joy and the hours spent savouring the depth of the moment, it is an experience of intimacy with Jesus in his Eucharistic presence that he refers to in other writings. In 1830 for example he wrote to Henri Tempier:
This morning, before communion, I dared to speak to this good Master with the same freedom that I would have had if I had had the happiness to live when he walked on earth, and if I had found myself in the same predicament. I said Mass in a particular chapel, I was not impeded by anyone’s presence. I exposed to him our needs, asked his light and his assistance, and then I surrendered myself entirely to him, wishing absolutely nothing else than his holy will. I took communion in this disposition. As soon as I had taken the precious blood, it was impossible for me to withstand such an abundance of interior consolations…
Letter to Henri Tempier, 23 August 1830, O.W. VII n. 359
Meditating on the first Holy Thursday celebration of the Missionaries makes me think of the prayer of Jesus at the last supper where he invited the apostles to communion with his Father: “I made your name known to them, and I will make it known, so that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” (John 17:26) In the spirit of Jesus’ promise on the first Holy Thursday in Jerusalem: “Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete” (John 16:24) – we can understand something of the fullness of joy experienced on Holy Thursday 1816 in Aix en Provence.
Today I came here because of the richness of yesterday’s posting and reflection and then thought well I will read this and then do a search for ‘Holy Thursday’. And here I stay, reflecting on the joy of Eugene (and I would imagine Henri Tempier) the night they made their vows. I can’t help but feel his joy and sense of rightness – what he has perhaps been waiting to do all of his life in a way. (Or am I simply projecting my own thoughts and desires onto him?) But all that he says resonates so very strongly.
I believe that the desire and need to make a commitment, to make vows – publicly comes from deep within us. It comes from a need, a desire deep within us so that we can live in that and move forward, outward, share it as we are called. I see that in Eugene, in many of the religious I know and in many of the couples I know who get married. It is a part of who they are together with God and with each other. To be denied that right as we do to some of our brothers and sisters is a terrible wrong, particularly when it is done to control or done out of judging of the other(s).
I am thinking now of the Last Supper. Jesus sat with his apostles (and perhaps others?) He knew he would be betrayed, he knew by whom but he sat with ALL of them. I am thinking he gave his All to all. I love the celebrations of Holy Thursday, the service, the loving, the institution of the Eucharist which we come to in such joy. It is from here that we receive a gift of grace and strength that we will hold as we walk with Jesus towards Golgotha, on through death and into resurrection. I keep thinking of the words “do this in remembrance of Me”.
He speaks to all of us, to give and receive. I find myself oddly excited at the thought of this evening, all of us who will sit around the table with Him tonight . Of being able to join in and wash the feet of my Lord and Master by washing the feet of the my brothers and sisters – symbolic – of course, but still a small sign of my love. I ask myself where will I sit at the table tonight? Will I be simply an onlooker or will I find my own place there beside Him, my own place from where I can see and touch Him?