YOU WILL NO DOUBT THANK ME FOR MY PATERNAL ADVICE; IT WILL PROVE TO YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

Eugene admired the talented Fr Toussaint Dassy but was also aware of his complex personality and sometimes unattainable expectations of others. He was the superior of the missionary community in Nancy which was also the novitiate. The novice master was Father Dorey who was 27 years old and had only been a priest for 10 months, which was a cause of concern for Fr Dassy.

I am delighted by all that you tell me of Father Dorey. I know his merits. I recommend you give him great latitude in the exercise of his functions. That he consult you is good, but you must never interfere between him and his novices, that would ruin his authority completely. You tell me again, dear friend, that if the new Master of Novices followed in the steps of his predecessor, you are afraid you could not stand it. That is a bit strong. That makes me worry lest you require of the new Master of Novices more than you have the right to ask. Be careful then not to take advantage of his inexperience…

Eugene then points out to Dassy that he himself is not perfect

... but you are, my dear son, much too petulant, also too touchy. You give yourself over at times to assumptions which are false; but even if they were true, you would be wrong to complain because finally you yourself are not faultless and that if there were something in your conduct or your management which were not laudable, I would have to be informed so that I might give you advice, and in all that there would be no reason for you to feel humiliated nor would you need to be forgiven.

I am going to show you how you happen to be mistaken in your suspicions or your conjectures. You tell me that Father Santoni is no doubt going to accuse you when he speaks to me. Well, I attest that he has said nothing to me about you but good things.

Eugene concludes his letter following a familiar pattern. Whenever he had to write to an Oblate to correct him for his mistakes and to give him tough advice, he always concluded by expressing his paternal affection for him.

Goodbye. my dear son. You will no doubt thank me for my paternal advice; it will prove to you how much I love you and I do love you very much,

Letter to Fr Toussaint Dassy, 14 October 1848, EO X n 989

REFLECTION

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)