HOLY THURSDAY: not what I want, but what You want
“I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.”
John 13:15
For Saint Eugene, Holy Thursday marked two important events: his first communion and his private vow of saying “yes” to God on this night when Christians keep watch with Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane and Jesus said “yes”.
This is how Eugene and his closest Oblate companion, Henri Tempier, spent that night in 1816:
Briefly put. Father Tempier and I felt that we should not delay any longer, and on Holy Thursday (April 11, 1816), when both of us had taken our place under the structure of the beautiful repository we had erected over the main altar of the Mission church, in the night of that holy day, we pronounced our vows with an indescribable joy. We enjoyed our happiness throughout this beautiful night, in the presence of Our Lord.
Eugene de Mazenod’s Memoires, Rambert I, p. 187
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It is Holy Thursday and as I read the title and the line from John’s Gospel my spirit lifts with the awareness that the celebration of the Triduum begins. The line from John’s Gospel seems to leap out from the screen and I am reminded that the “community of the Apostles with Jesus is the model of our life.” (C 3) The model for all of us who share in being a part of the Oblate/Mazenodian Family.
Today there is a renewed realization that God has called me to “serve” – God, the Church, my brothers and sisters in the fullest sense of those words. A small and hidden way of living out “…not always what I want, but what You want…” as Jesus prayed in the Garden.
The Spirit began this morning by putting a song in my heart: “Do You know what I have done for you, you who call Me your Teacher and your Lord. If I have washed your feet so you must do as I have done for you.” (David Haas – The Song of the Lords Command)
On this eve of the crucifixion I am inspired to end my morning prayer with a silent but heartfelt renewal of my own commitment, my own private vow to God; for it is my own version of saying yes to God, to what God wills of me, as set out with Jesus and his disciples as the model, with the members of our shared Oblate Family as models…