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“A father’s communication with his many children… that is one of the most agreeable occupations of my life” 1857
I hear the words from Azariah and am reminded of end the Lord’s Prayer.
But it is Eugene’s prayer to You that I realize my sin and ask for mercy. In reading Eugene’s retreat notes I realize that I have been struggling with the word “Father”, making your name synonymous with that of my earthly father’s. But it was you who kept me safe and carried me; it was you who sent angels to guard me, others to check on me and some to walk with me. I did not recognise you and your endless love. And so I pushed back, often with great strength: too afraid that I might see that you did not love me. That would have been too much to bear.
At this moment I do not see the three of you in one, but only the one.
Forgive me so that I might go deeper to forgive my father. Forgive me for glossing over your name out of fear and turning to pretend that I had it all together – for it is my brokenness that you wait to receive with the tenderness of a lover only so as to heal and bring me to wholeness.
“Listen to my prayer; forgive my sins, renew your love in my heart, help me to live in perfect unity with all my brothers and sisters so that I too may proclaim your saving and healing love to all the world.” Amen