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- Eleanor Rabnett, Lay Oblate Associate on I RECOMMEND KINDNESS IN YOUR LEADERSHIP
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“A father’s communication with his many children… that is one of the most agreeable occupations of my life” 1857
I think of the gift that Eugene gave to his dear friend only days before he died, a gift of love which allowed Forbin-Janson to say goodbye to Eugene and to send his love. In his younger years Eugene had a difficult time saying goodbye to his friends when they died and yet here we have Eugene journeying with his friend as he begins to say his goodbyes and leave this earth-bound life.
Many years ago I had the joy of being with my friend Ida when she found out that she was dying and given less than two weeks to live. She wanted my help in being able to say her goodbyes to her friends, family, and fellow parishioners. The hospital moved her to a private room, and I set about asking those she loved to go to the hospital so that she could tell each person how she loved them. What a beautiful death she had!
Since that time I have received the gift of journeying with a few friends as they prepared for death. This entailed deep listening, praying-with and mostly “being with” as they moved each in his or her own way closer to the Beloved.
Eugene’s honest love for his friend allowed Forbin-Janson to say goodbye and allowed another(s) to help him do that. I think of Mary and the disciples standing with Jesus at the foot of the cross as he was dying, of being there as he let go of life to join the Father.
Tears well up within me for a moment – not for Eugene who would face his own death with love and grace, with his sons. Tears of gratitude for how I have been led in walking with others as they were dying. Today I serve as a member of our parish Funeral Ministry, a ministry that allows us to walk with families when a loved one dies. It is often the last way that we can be with those we have loved.
Dear Eugene – one more way that you have taught me to love, simply by sharing your great heart with all of us.