I NO LONGER KNEW IF I WAS IN HEAVEN OR ON EARTH, AND I HAD TO SHED TEARS OF JOY AND APPRECIATION

Posted on November 10, 2021 by franksantucci

The closure of the parish missions in Marseilles was one of the greatest consolations for Bishop Eugene as this journal entry testifies.

It’s not for nothing that I did not want to permit a physician to be called; the doctor would have believed himself obliged to keep me in bed and I needed to arise in order to do the will of the heavenly Father. Today must take place the general Communion of the men in the parish of Saint-Cannat, fruit of the mission which Fr. Loewenbruck has been giving for five weeks. A certain number among them, and many women also, were waiting for me in order to receive the sacrament of Confirmation which they had neglected to receive. I would have needed to be in my death throes to stay away. What more consoling duty to fulfill! Who could have replaced me for this ministry? How, besides, to consent to depriving myself of the truly ineffable happiness experienced by a bishop to whom God gives the grace of sensing what is characteristic of the true pastor in regard to his flock in such a situation?

Without thinking I was doing a heroic deed, I then wrapped myself in my ceremonial fur and got out of bed to go to the church, where so many renewed Christians found themselves gathered at the foot of the holy altar, in the expectation of the remainder of the graces which had been reserved for them after their reconciliation with God. What a delightful sight! I was counting on a great number of attendants, but when, placing my foot on the doorstep of the main door, I saw the nave filled with gathered men, all of whom knelt to receive my blessing, when, having arrived in the sanctuary, I prostrated myself to adore our Savior, to give him thanks for having arranged such a harvest in my ministry, and while a thousand men’s voices were raised at the same time to sing the mercies of the Lord, to exalt the power of his arm and to witness to the happiness with which they were filled, I no longer knew if I was in heaven or on earth, and I had to shed tears of joy and appreciation.

Eugene de Mazenod’s Diary, 21 January 1844, EO XXI

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One Response to I NO LONGER KNEW IF I WAS IN HEAVEN OR ON EARTH, AND I HAD TO SHED TEARS OF JOY AND APPRECIATION

  1. Eleanor Rabnett, Oblate Associate says:
    November 10, 2021 at 11:29

    Wow! It is with a small smile and a heart filled with tenderness that I greet Eugene this morning as he recounts his actions of that day. He was a man who knew how to make an entrance. His actions, which could be written off as effusive and unrestrained (passionate, unreserved, extravagant…) were nevertheless impressive and heartfelt.

    He reminds me of people that I know in the present time, who when they reach a particular time in their life become much freer and able to express themselves without restraint or inhibition. I find myself filled with immense gratitude and joy as I look at a sunset or sunrise, or during a particular moment during Mass and sometimes my eyes are filled with unshed tears that I cannot explain. Times of an experience of God that can be impossible to explain or express, save to say that in those moments out of time God embraces and fills me and I become a witness to a love that goes far beyond any words or boundaries.

    Whether it was a hundred or a thousand voices that were the backdrop to Eugene’s experience of God it does not matter. What matters is how this is shared with all of us, and how it becomes an invitation for us to stop and reflect on how God fills each of us with joy and gratitude. This is an example of how we can respond to this great invitation to share this with others. This is one more way to share the Good News: to “…lead [people] to act like human beings, first of all, and then like Christians, and, finally, help them to become saints.”

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