WE MUST NEVER WISH TO DO MORE OR OTHERWISE THAN THE GOOD LORD INDICATES
Pertinent advice for all of us who are tempted not to read the signs that God sends us regarding the responsibility of self-care.
I have learned with extreme pleasure by your letter that you have recovered from your illness; but it is with some anxiety that I learn you are planning to give several retreats in a row. We must never wish to do more or otherwise than the good Lord indicates. In this matter, I would wish you to take the advice of your admonitor in all simplicity in order to avoid responsibility before God and the Congregation of unpleasant consequences which might result to your health, so precious to all of us.
Letter to Father Eugene Guigues (at at N.-D. de L’Osier, France). 6 July 1843
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For much of my life I did not have a sense of “being” enough and so my life was a never-ending effort of doing. Even after meeting Jesus and hearing him say my name I was unable to change. I sometimes wondered why God had made me this way, and at times I took inverted pride in being the way I was.
It took constant love and care to help me to be able to see myself and develop a sense of worth of myself. I am reminded of the Good Shepherd who never gave up on his sheep, and who repeatedly rounded them up, led them to nourishment and protected them. God truly being the shepherd and caring for the sheep.
I met St. Eugene de Mazenod, was introduced to him by several of his sons. I found myself heeding his invitation to stand at the foot of my crucifix to read and hear his letter. I began to recognise that I wanted to become human, Christian, and a saint. I listened to him even when I did not like what he had to say and as I got to know him, I began to love him, this most human of saints. I found myself walking with him and sharing in his charism, his spirit. This was/is foundational for me.
So, when he spoke, and when he speaks through his sons and daughters, I have learned to listen and take heed. I got tired of his constant reminders to have regularity in ourlives and now I find myself speaking about the same thing as way of ‘being’ from which the ‘doing’ flows. To take care of myself so that I am able to be who God created me to be; to take care of not just my heart and soul but this vessel which holds them.
We do not always realise that we need to take care of ourselves; as Eugene said, we are precious, not only to God but to each other. This is Eugene who is mother/father to all of us in this Mazenodian Family.