BY KNOWING HOW TO MODIFY ONE’S OWN IDEAS AND TO ADOPT THOSE OF OTHERS THAT ONE GAINS THEIR SYMPATHY, THEIR HELP AND THEIR AFFECTION

Posted on August 4, 2021 by franksantucci

Father Honorat, superior of the first group of missionaries to Canada, was inclined to make decisions without consultation. Here Eugene gives him advice which is applicable to all of us in every walk of life.

This is not all. I want to know the opinions of the other members of the community which you ought to consider as your Council duty-bound and with whom, if they fail to adopt your ideas, you must not be annoyed …In the name of Heaven, amend yourself and cease taking upon yourself alone a responsibility which necessarily has to be shared by others…
 
It is thus, by giving others marks of confidence, by showing them deference, by knowing how to modify one’s own ideas and to adopt those of others that one gains their sympathy, their help and their affection. I say this, not to upset you but uniquely for your own good. Who will tell you the truth if I do not?

…Do you wish to avoid opposition in the future? Keep to the Rule. Hold your meetings regularly and transact matters at them consultatively without ever wishing to gain your objective by authority. You shall see what strength you will gain from this way of proceeding.

Letter to Father Jean Baptiste Honorat (in Canada), 10 January 1843, EO I n 14

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One Response to BY KNOWING HOW TO MODIFY ONE’S OWN IDEAS AND TO ADOPT THOSE OF OTHERS THAT ONE GAINS THEIR SYMPATHY, THEIR HELP AND THEIR AFFECTION

  1. Eleanor Rabnett, Oblate Associate says:
    August 4, 2021 at 11:36

    Eugene himself had his own struggles with leadership and depended on the advice and love of his companions during some of his struggles and so he shares with Fr. Honorat his own experiences. I imagine that he shared some of the lessons that he himself took in when he remained at St. Sulpice so as to help keep the seminary open and allow the young men there to finish their studies. As Founder, Superior General and Bishop of Marseilles he must have listened to the counsel of his first companions like Tempier and Courtès…

    And what does this have to do with me in my life? Everything: for if I have learned one thing in this life, it is that mankind, all of us and myself are not so different in our strengths and weaknesses as those who have come before us and those who will come after us. I am not exempt from failings and weaknesses, even as I see some of the strengths and successes of my life.

    I think of how my own behaviour and way of being affects others around me. I would love to say that it is always and ever life-giving but… Eugene’s advice to Honorat has great value in the present time. Keep to the Rule and hold meetings regularly; become consultative rather than authoritative. Draw forth the strengths of the community that surrounds me. And listen to the advice of others.

    And love; let all that I am and do be in love.

    Reply

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