As Superior General, Eugene had to deal with the weaknesses and foibles of his Oblates. He always regarded himself as their father and was hurt when they did not realize this.
Letter from Fr. Bermond. My letter has provoked a reply which proves to me that he falls short of being the type of man to send to Canada.
It is not at all a question whether he is a brave child, but he takes things too personally, he misinterprets the conduct of superiors towards him, takes offence at it, retains a memory of it. He nurses the thought that I am prejudiced against him because of the reports that have been made to me against him.
It’s in this way that all those who have some reproaches to make close their hearts while distrusting my sentiments, which is a very fatal error for them. They do not want to understand how much I am a father. More than some imperfections and some miseries are necessary in order to change the sentiments that God has given me for all those who have vowed themselves to him in the Congregation. And Bermond in particular renders me little justice if he writes that the affection that I have for him has been weakened by the difficulties of Laus. [ed The Oblates had been forced to leave the shrine of Notre Dame du Laus, causing suffering to Eugene]
Eugene de Mazenod’s Diary, 4 October 1842, EO XXI
I cannot but help recognize the love that Eugene feels for Fr. Bermond as being similar to the love that God has for each of us. Eugene writes as a wounded parent who loves their child, and nothing will change that: “More than some imperfections and some miseries are necessary in order to change the sentiments that God has given me for all those who have vowed themselves to him in the Congregation.”
I think of the stormy relationship that children often have with their parents as they try to discover their place in this world, allowing their wounds to overcome them before they settle down and allow maturity to become a part of their lives; feeling safe and secure in who they are as seen through the eyes of God.
I think of the story of the prodigal son and how both sons come to recognize the greatness of the love of their father – or mother.
How comforting to know that God uses us all – warts and all as Frank mentions. It is perhaps this knowledge and awareness that helps each of us to grow up. How comforting it is to realise that we can spread our wings and try to fly if it is only to fly back into the arms and hearts of those who love us.