THOSE WHO HAVE THE HABIT OF COMPLAINING WHEN IT IS A MATTER OF THEIR PERSONAL PREFERENCE
Eugene’s role as leader of the Oblate Congregation meant that he had to distribute the Oblates according to the needs of the missions we were caring for. In some cases, he encountered difficulties because of personal likes and dislikes of individuals.
I express how much I was displeased by the repugnance shown by Fr. Bermond to go to the residence at Aix for a while. The pretext of health is not admissible for a man who implores to be sent to the ends of the earth.
Father Bermond had insisted that he should be sent to Canada as a missionary, and yet complained about a temporary assignment to a community 50 miles away.
These dislikes obstruct administration, they are contrary to the basic principles of holy indifference which is the pivot of regularity and of good discipline. They are not allowable in any way, we dare not even acknowledge them.
Then Eugene wryly comments that all those Oblates who complained should be put in charge of finding personnel to fulfil the missions – they would change their tune very quickly!
Ah! I would like to hand over the care of combining the needs of all our houses and the placing of subjects on their way again to those who have been in the habit of complaining when it is a matter of their personal preference. We should see them at work.
Eugene de Mazenod’s Diary, 7 September 1842, EO XXI
Eventually, Eugene gave in to Fr Bermond’s desire, and left him where he was.
I made no reply to your letter of August 30th, my dear Father Bermond. I contented myself with letting Father Ricard know that I had yielded not to your reasons but to your dislike and that I would leave you at Lumières.
Letter to Fr. Francois Bermond, 8 September 1842, EO I n 12
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This was not a matter of “…its my way or the highway”, but rather of invoking and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak and act within us, and always for the betterment of the congregation. Our journey is never a simple matter of filling our own personal quests, but of doing the will of God and trusting that we will not be led astray: trusting that we will be brought to where we become fully human, Christian and saints.
I think of how Eugene when he first started out was offered a plum position with is friend Forbin-Janson in the Missionaries of France. He was not “dithering” or waiting for his friend to beg him; rather he was discerning and listening to where the Spirit would have him be.
It is not always about what we want, but rather about acceding to the needs of our community, whether they be at a family level, at work or parish levels, etc.
I look at Eugene’s comment about handing over the care of the combined needs of the congregation to those who complain of there personal preferences not being met.
Eugene was thinking of the bigger picture rather than of his own personal desires. I think of what is happening in the light of the pandemic. For some, personal preferences are taking precedence over the well-being and health of those around us when it comes to having to wear masks in public and acceding to other requirements so that we can halt the growing wave of illness and death.
I am reminded of the words of the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Perhaps the only thing I can change at times is how I accept what I am given and where I am led to be.