Writing to Father Vincens, the new novice-master, Eugene give him advice as he begins to work with a new group of novices. He advises that they start their novitiate with a good retreat.
I recommend that you organize a good retreat in preparation for the novitiate, eight days of exercises according to Saint Ignatius.
Then he insist that these new novices be men who sincerely want to put relationship with Jesus above all family relationships.
It is important that we admit only men who are devoted, generous, detached so as to do everything that is required by obedience, especially detached from relatives whom they must love in God and for God, without the affection we continue to have for them ever influencing our course, activities, will, not even our thoughts.
Letter to Fr. Joseph Vincens, 23 November 1841, EO IX n 751
It did not mean severing all family bonds, but moving to a deeper level, that of loving their family IN God and FOR God. This is what Jesus demanded of all who wished to follow him.
“If anyone comes to me and does not have much more love for me than for his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my follower.” Luke 14:26
I sit here this morning thinking of how right and true this is, Eugene’s advice and Frank’s bringing it into the realm of our everyday understanding and experiencing love. The idea of moving to a deeper level and loving “in” God and “for” God.
The pandemic has necessitated just this way of being and loving: in order to protect ourselves and all those we love, we practice safe distancing; we wear masks… Often we are unable to run and be with our families and so we pray “in him, with him and through him” in new and deeper ways. We find ways to join our spirits together – as I like to say, “coming together in the heart of our crucified Saviour”. And without all the external distractions we recognise how our love deepens and fills out.
I keep thinking about “perseverance”: specifically, in the fourth vow that the Oblates each make and renew regularly throughout their lives. “Jesus “always loved those who were his own in the world,” and to the very end “he showed how perfect his love was” (Jn 13:1). His Spirit inspires all Christians to constancy in their love. The same Spirit develops in us a close attachment to the Congregation. Our perseverance is thus a sign of Christ’s fidelity to the Father. We will help each other find joy and fulfillment in our community life and in our apostolate, supporting one another in our resolution to be faithful to the Congregation, whatever the circumstances which could provoke its dispersal or tempt us to withdraw from it.” (C29)
This speaks not only to the Oblates, but rather to all of us who make up the Mazenodian Family. It is about much more than simply doing; it is totally about our attitudes and the “how” of our love, about our “being”.