Father Tempier had been Eugene’s first and closest companion since 1815. Eugene went to confession to Tempier every week. This time, Tempier had forgotten and Eugene gently reprimands him, but with a sense of loving humor in his words. After 25 years of close collaboration and companionship, these two knew one another very well – a tone we detect on this letter.
One may sometimes be distracted, dearest Tempier, but to forget that today is Saturday. the usual day for confession; furthermore, that it is the eve of our great ceremony [ed. November 1 when all Oblates renewed their vows] that should naturally be preceded by confession; thirdly, that last evening, realizing that it was too late. I told you that we would meet again this morning at 7 o’clock. and it is already 8 p.m.
All these combined complaints force me to compel you mercilessly to make the pilgrimage to the bishop’s house this very evening. And so I pray God that he have you in his holy and worthy keeping and especially that he grant you a little more memory.
Letter to Henri Tempier, 31 October 1840, EO IX n. 715
I suppose there are two ways of reading and taking in Eugene’s letter to Tempier. The first way is to look at Eugene’s words and to berate him for being so arrogantly demanding. Sadly that might happen more often than not, especially if the reader is struggling within him or herself; if he or she is unable to recognize the love and merriment with accompany Eugene’s note to Tempier. I remember the times that Eugene would be separated from his dearest friend and how he would fret and worry when his dearest friend did not write back fast enough for him.
The other way is to look and read Eugene’s words with understanding and love, recognizing the merriment and endearment. Seeing through the eyes of love. I have no doubt that Henri Tempier also recognized the true sentiments of Eugene’s letter.
I find myself looking back on myself through eyes of love this morning; recognizing the times in my life that I have received the words of others; receiving and hearing them through my heart which was torn and bleeding and unable to recognize the love in them. It is only now that I grieve some of the lost moments and opportunities to have deepened relationships rather than walking away from them.
There is also joy and gratitude which colours how I see, experience and respond. There is no bitterness or anger and this morning and so I experience merriment with Eugene and Tempier’s dance of life.
I imagine that Eugene and Tempier greeted each other that evening with love, joy and no small amount of trust; and they may well have both laughed with each other before getting down to the serious stuff.
This is the stuff of real, true, and abiding love. I turn and look at my Beloved who walks with and through all of my steps be they stumbling or strong. As I lean back into and ever-tender embrace I give thanks for the memory to be able to recognize all of this.