Easter Sunday 1839, and Eugene had received notice of a scandalous retaliation for a good deed that he had done for the welfare of his diocese.
Oh well! The good God leads the way and He allows men to show no gratitude to me for anything, but rather to misrepresent my intentions and distort them when they cannot contradict the evidence of actions that speak for themselves.
Eugene then reflects on the motivation behind all his actions. It is God’s love for him! God’s love is the food that nourishes him, and it was instinctive for his soul to be filled with it:
I believed that it was all right for me to enjoy a feeling which I was convinced was legitimate and natural, and the example of which, I felt, was given by Our Lord Jesus Christ, the model of all perfection. I sometimes had the audacity to tell myself that I perfectly understood the love God has for man, that He loves each one according to his merits without detriment to anyone. Nourished by these thoughts, my soul, so to speak, gaped, opened, and expanded in proportion as it continued to find food for this supposedly instinctive feeling.
As a result, Eugene was able to love others by sharing the Savior’s love for him – it was to “be” in order to “do.”
In my illusion, it seemed to me that by following God’s example, I could love every person in such a way that not a single one could complain of giving me more affection than I gave them. I felt within me something resembling immensity, a well of justice and equity, that allowed me to divide my affection in proportion as each one deserved it and returned it.
Eugene de Mazenod’s Diary, 31 March 1839, EO XX
I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. John 13:34
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. John 15: 12-14
“…love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love on another.” John 13:34
When I was 29 years old, I experienced an explosion of life within me as I heard God’s voice “Eleanor I love you, you are mine…” A love so shattering that it destroyed all the walls and armaments of darkness that encased me; a love so all-encompassing that it transformed all of me and the universe around me.
Like Eugene with his Good Friday experience I never want to forget those moments for it is from them that I live, that my heart responds and that I move from my ‘being’.
Loving and so discovering and experiencing the love of others changes me each time I allow God to show me God’s self through others. It has been this way for 40 years now – a shift from darkness to light that transforms. In those moments I am powerless to be and do anything else but to respond with love; as Eugene describes it.
“…Eugene was able to love others by sharing the Savior’s love for him – it was to “be” in order to “do.” Throughout this morning’s reflection I keep thinking back to my experience at church last Sunday. A friend of mine was giving the Reflection on the Scriptures when suddenly it was as if she stood in a new and very bright light. I saw her, experienced her in a new way – I could see her beauty from the inside coming out. God within her, she was sharing her experience of God.
Transform me Lord, transform the eyes of my heart that I might see you over and over again in those who I meet, in those who I want to be able to love; transform my being as Eugene and Frank have spoken of.