Eugene always rejoiced in the success of the ministry of his missionary sons. Writing to Fr Martin in Switzerland, he points out that the reason for his success is that he is allowing God to work through him.
My dear child. I would very much like to tell you face-to-face what I content myself in writing to you. Become more and more worthy of your vocation. We can never do enough to be grateful for all the good the good Lord helps us to accomplish through a special privilege.
With sadness Eugene recalls that this motivation is not the case with everyone:
If our number is small, no doubt we must lay the blame partly on the evils of the day, and on the laxity which infests so many mercenaries who wish to serve the Church only for the material profit which they derive…
Letter to Joseph Martin, 10 May 1837, EO IX n 617
What is my motivation for following Jesus as his baptized disciple?
After getting lost in my thoughts I found myself focusing on Frank’s question: “What is my motivation for following Jesus as his baptize disciple?”
Baptized on the very day as my birth – yet the first half of my life seemed to be devoid of God. So much so that I was sure that my baptism “had not worked”.
Meeting God; hearing Jesus say my name literally changed everything. Until then my life probably looked a lot darker than the life of any mercenary that Eugene had ever known. With God I was transformed – still human but nevertheless transformed. I found myself becoming quite powerless to do anything other than ‘be’ in that love and live from there. Seeing through the eyes of Jesus on the cross; truly I did not want to be anywhere else than in the embrace of my Beloved.
Almost the first half of my life with Jesus holding and nourishing me in the secret of my heart; my God I am almost seventy and still I find my eyes filling as I look at all that You have given to me!
I think of the Lord’s Prayer and how we ask God to give us our daily bread, to lead us away from temptation and deliver us from evil. I think of St. Paul and how Jesus transformed him and his life – making it impossible to turn from God – for he had his being in God. Eugene was no different and I look around at so many in this world who I come to meet and know. I am imperfectly content to follow Jesus as his disciple – all else would be empty and meaningless.
Again I think of Eugene’s words in the Preface on becoming human, Christian and finally a saint. This is where I have been led and it is the only way that has meaning for me; I get to keep it only if I give it away.