Eventually Eugene’s exile at St Laurent came to an end and he immersed himself in the life of the high society of Aix.
We amuse ourselves like royalty. We run after pleasure, which runs faster than us….
Letter to his father, 31 December 1803, Méjanes Library, Aix.
A month later, the 22 year-old enthusiastically wrote to his father:
If I did not find Saint-Laurent entertaining, how could I keep up with the pleasures the delightful city of Aix offered to me. In addition to the Odeon which we no longer call Odeon but rather the Circle of Sextus where we gather twice a week to sing and dance, we often stage comedies. But how can I call them comedies? They are operas. Yes, we have reached even that height.
Letter to his father, 27 January 1804, Méjanes Library, Aix.
A year later, at 23 years of age, he continued to outline the choices in his social life:
Miss Simeon, who married a general named De Launay who is the current Commander in Aix, lodges in the house of the Castellane family and entertains the whole city every Friday; Madame. Forbin, born St-Césaire, receives visitors every day and especially on Saturdays entertains her entire social group, which is composed of all the one-time nobility. On Sunday we hurry, after the theatre, to go dancing at the Sextus Circle. This is held in the Regusse home, where all well-brought up people of the Two Ceti society gathers. On Monday, Ms. Arbaud-Jouques receives the same company as her cousin Forbin… Tuesday, theatre or if you prefer, Madame de Magalon who entertains beautiful people every day. On Wednesday one takes care not to miss the concert, which starts at 6:00 at the Sextus Circle; once the concert has ended, people of common sense form a group and the youth dance till they drop; when hungry, we find the place where we can eat and pay for it. Thursday, shows and the social gatherings of every day. Add to this the endless entertainment provided by the society comedies performed by Galliffet and others every Saturday; and even more frequently the carnival. Make a summary of all this, and you will see that we could die of pleasure in Aix.
Yet you know that, despite all its resources, which perhaps no other city of France can boast of, there are still young people who claim that Aix is boring. I sometimes get angry about it.
Letter to his father, 18 January 1805, Méjanes Library, Aix.
I quote some of these passages because they do highlight the situation that was to lead to Eugene’s change of lifestyle after his conversion experience a couple of years later.
“The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish.” Saint John Paul II
“We amuse ourselves like royalty. We run after pleasure, which runs faster than us….” I don’t think until this morning that I have ever really appreciated what it was like for Eugene when he went back to Aix following his brief stay at St. Laurent. Never quite able to catch the pleasure that he was looking for. A very apt description of some addictions. Eugene’s search for meaning, something that we all seem to go through, looking for happiness and love that will fill the darkness and loneliness in our hearts. And after a while it can all seem to be quite empty so we run faster, search harder, do more… Again this morning I think of St. Paul and how he, with the help of God, turned his life completely around, as did Eugene, as did I, as have done so many others. And still at times there can be an inclination to look at that so-called ‘easier, softer’ way.
It is good to be reminded of Eugene’s style of living during that time. It reminds me of my own times of furiously running after happiness, looking in the places which I would never find what I wanted. I call them escapes. For a long time I had escapes into drug and alcohol. And once I lost those I could have very well escaped into AA, into running and ‘working out’, books and clothes, religion and many many friends who weren’t really friends. I never quite tasted the good life that Eugene experienced, but I had my own ways of good life because they were escapes and distractions from what I truly sought. It is always good to look back and to look at the many ways I might try to find to escape – my biggest one – “doing in order to be”. I could die trying to achieve that one and it wouldn’t make it so. And each time I realise that I am “doing” in order to ‘be’, I pause but after a while a find a new way of “doing”.
Grant me the grace Lord to let go and simply ‘be’ in the moment. And Lord, grant me the grace to accept your graces.