Summarizing Eugene’s letters of this period, Pielorz gives us a picture of Eugene’s life in Palermo:
Welcomed as an intimate member of a princely family, Eugene is no longer the Venetian ascetic, nor the fish out of water of Naples days. He now becomes aware of the nobility of his birth and wishes to make up for the gaps in his aristocratic education whose deficiencies appear all too evident to him.
In the midst of this aristocratic milieu, Eugene means to gain the respect of others and to put in bold relief his title and the privileges from his noble birth. He wrote to his father October 18, 1799:
I was delighted to learn a part of my genealogy, for I am totally ignorant about things related to my family. However, since I am already sufficiently grown and am strongly interested in it, from time to time, I would like to know a few things about it… And so, my dear father, when you have the spare time, you would give me great pleasure if you would teach me about the affairs and the family ties of our house.
Once he had learned about his genealogy, he thought that it was every bit as good as that of the Sicilian counts. From now on his title would be: Signor Conte Eugenio de Mazenod [Sir Count Eugene de Mazenod]. “The Italians call him Eccelenza [Your Excellency], from his biceps, il conte, [the count], il contino [the little count],” President de Mazenod wrote to Ninette, October 19, 1802…
October 18, 1799, il contino Eugene wrote to his father:
What a disgrace for a count not to know how to shoot, ride a horse, hunt or dance. He would, therefore, take advantage of the hunting and riding lessons that the tutor of the Cannizzaro household would give.
This picture is much different from that of Venice. This is no longer the almost monastic life style under the wise and loving supervision of Don Bartolo. It is life in the open air, the worldly and frivolous life of the castle. The fasts of Venice give way to excellent dinners with Sicilian cuisine, meals the young man’s appetite would know well how to take advantage of
Eugene goes from party to party, reception to reception. In a word: from worldliness to worldliness.
Pielorz, The Spiritual Life… page 90
It would take a few more years before Eugene would be given the grace to discover where “true nobility” lay in his life.
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.” Ernest Hemingway
It is strange but in my family tree is a level of nobility from before Eugene’s time, all in Northern Italy. However the story goes that my ancestor was driven out of Italy because he was giving the family a bad name. Not a whole lot to be proud of there or to want to take after there. I think that I did quite enough of that when I was drinking and drugging. And I had another very distant ancestor who was an apprentice of Michelangelo and who worked on the Sistine Chapel. I did not inherit much of anything from him either, for I cannot draw or paint to save my soul.
But still I am not so different from Eugene. I wanted to be somebody for a very long time until finally it dawned on me that I was – myself. And I wanted to make up for having to have lived with poor parents by needing to buy very nice clothes and have boy friends who had very nice cars and good jobs, and, and, and…
I keep thinking of what Eugene wrote later on about himself as having ‘looked outside of God for his happiness’ – and I can so relate to that. Even now there is a part of me that wants to be a ‘somebody’! I have gone through a period where my want was that I would become the ‘greatest living saint’ and that I would single-handedly bring home others to God. I would like to be a great writer – who everybody would read because of my acquired wisdom and whatever. Or perhaps a great whatever… there is still some of that in me. The want for externals, to be known, to be loved, to be well known and well loved. And oddly enough I know that even it that were so I would not be as happy or filled with the wonder and joy that grows within my heart now.
As a little girl I played ‘dress up’ but thankfully I have for the most part grown up. Whether its as a little count or a little princess who has a secret fairy godmother; in having looked in the wrong places for what our hearts desired we can more fully appreciate when we are led to look within, or through the eyes of our crucified Saviour and discover where we want to be, and who we really are. It is here that we discover our true nobility as sons and daughters.