We have been seeing the importance of Henri Tempier for Eugene – they had been together in the “Oblate adventure” from the very beginning. Every major decision had been planned togethr and executed and evaluated together. After three years of living in the same community and working together, a second community house was opened at Notre Dame du Laus. It was essential that this second community live by the same God-given spirit of the Missionaries in Aix. It was to Henri Tempier that this responsibility had been entrusted, because it was of him that Eugene had said:
First companion of mine, you have from the first day we came together grasped the spirit which must animate us and which we must communicate to others.
He had been asked to make the sacrifice of leaving Aix in order to establish the new community in Laus, and to ensure that the two communities remain in to be in communion of spirit and mission. Three years later Tempier asked Eugene to relieve him from the burden of being the superior at Laus and of being so far away. He was finding the responsibility for the shrine and its pastoral ministry, and for the young men in training to become Missionaries, very heavy . Eugene responded:
You ought to feel yourself that I cannot possibly yield to your wishes. No one has a greater right than you to my confidence…
Eugene asked him to make this personal sacrifice for the good of the Missionaries.
One must not forget to note… the confidence of the Society which has confided to you the superiorship of its second house, the fact of seeing you constantly and of knowing the regularity of your conduct causing a rather striking contrast with that of most of those who exercise the ministry in the rest of the diocese. All these things together make you realize well enough that it is not possible, for the moment, that I recall you definitively to my side…
Letter to Henri Tempier, 15 August 1822, EO VI n 86
“For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice – no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service.” John Burroughs
One would have thought that todays writings would have been “easier” to think on and ponder. Not so. I find something in my heart recognizing truth and more walls breaking apart. It hurts. I look at Henri Tempier and am struck by the great strength of this man. Even his picture there in Aix next to Eugene, not as “large as life” as was Eugene, yet solid, strong. Henri served – plain and simple he served and gave himself to whatever was asked. He gave himself, his all to God, to his community, his society. The responsibilities that he had to bear were great.
To have been closer to the life and passion and force that was Eugene would have been desirable, it would have been strengthening. Henri truly loved Eugene and this would have given him renewed strength.
This morning I have found myself weeping, and saying ‘okay’, saying ‘yes’, say ‘whatever you want’. On my trip I was surrounded by love and received so many graces. It was a bit like viewing a fire from far away in the dark, seeing the light of it and “knowing” what the heat and energy of it felt like. Then being able to come close to the fire itself, with the darkness truly pushed back and the light giving a new face entirely to all it touches. Being there next to the fire, almost in the middle of it, the heat surrounding and embracing, giving new energy and life. Then later having to walk away from the fire, move again towards the darkness, holding within a small flame of that fire, guarding to ensure it remains alive and true.
Today I find myself looking at the richness and graces of my visit, all that I received from that fire. I find myself saying yes to God yet again. I am not running forward with great shouts of joy, just yes, holding the flame, against the wind and the darkness, to share with those around me. I weep not out of sadness, but more because I am looking at what I need to let go of to ensure that my strength is reserved not for carrying the extras, but that which will allow and ensure the flame to continue to burn.
I did not expect this today, certainly not what “I had planned” on. The tears are mixed because it is hard to let go and to give of oneself – but to contemplate turning away, of not loving and serving when this was what I was created to be – unthinkable. I beg God to carry me through this – knowing that is already a reality.