Before Eugene began his retreat, a more intense time dedicated to prayer, he made a number of resolutions to ensure the success of this time of solitude in the presence of God.
Praised be Jesus Christ, and Mary Immaculate
This is what I have to do in this retreat:
1. Isolate myself totally from my ordinary tasks, not want to hear a word about them whatever may happen.
2. See no one from outside who may even simply remind me of them.
Retreat resolutions, October 1831, EO XV n 162
The first two resolutions are conditions for a successful retreat. If it is a time dedicated to be with God, then it is essential to cut off from everyday concerns and anything that reminds us of them. This does not mean that we don’t pray about these concerns, but the retreat is not a time to dwell on them and solve problems.
The same advice applies to our moments of daily prayer, whether they be 5 or 60 minutes in duration: we need to switch off to allow ourselves to be with God.
I think this morning not so much about my past retreats, but of my time of prayer each morning and night. Am I just there with God? Or am I busy talking over my problems (big and small) – trying to fix them; having idle conversations with myself or is it with God? Do I listen for him to speak?
At some point I seem to become aware of what I am doing and of what I am not being all in the same moment. I notice the tension in my body and slowly try to simply be. I begin with my breathing in and out – continuous flow and with each breath saying the name of Jesus. In those seconds or minutes I can somehow lose myself and all else and just be. Becoming aware again I find myself centered somehow, renewed and ready to start my day. There may be joy, there may be tears of – just tears for I do not always know where they come from. I am unable to say what has happened, only that it is good.
This past Christmas some of us were very busy at our church; coordinating volunteers, filling holes that seemed to always pop up at the last moment, making sure that all that was needed was there. Many Masses to attend. This year though was different. With every single Mass I was able to walk away with something different – a Christmas grace from God. I was there to try and ensure that each person coming through the doors would be able to enter fully into the Celebration and somehow I was able to be a part of all that myself.
I began a new prayer during Advent that I say each morning after my period of contemplation; it is called the Suscipe. “Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all I have and call my own.
You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it.
Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace, that is enough for me.