Realistically, Eugene realizes that in order to enter into prayer he has to struggle to break away from the grip of work and its demands – otherwise his attempts at prayer will be like swimming against a torrent of water that is impossible to conquer.
3. Then enter a state of absolute mental and physical relaxation without striving to produce anything. It would be tantamount to swimming against the stream with a lot of stress and little success to act in any other way on leaving behind this commotion, this pile-up of business of every kind in which I am habitually mired.
Here he touches the essence of prayer: the necessity to work for a mental and physical relaxation so that God can take over. This relaxing is an integral part of the process of prayer – it is prayer. “Let go, let God”
4. Once the torrent has subsided and I begin to be alone with myself, I will ask God for his grace to make a fruitful retreat. I will pray with all the fervour I am capable of to the Blessed Virgin, St. Joseph, my guardian Angel and other saints.
Retreat resolutions, October 1831, EO XV n 162
Such truth here. “…the essence of prayer: the necessity to work for a mental and physical relaxation so that God can take over. […] Let go, let God.”
That we, I, should have to work to relax, to let go of everything. But I do – particularly at a retreat. If I am alone then that is one thing, it can be easier – but when I am with others that I know and love. It becomes much harder particularly when we are asked to be in silence. Sometimes are easier than others, I can struggle with it. Fear? Of what? Of ‘letting go’ perhaps – those words are easy but it can be a difficult. Do I welcome distractions or do I allow them to simply pass through and over?
Who do I ask to help me with this? When I go on retreats at Oblate Retreat Houses I would make a habit of going to the Oblate cemetery when it was there. I would introduce myself and ask all who were buried there to pray for me during my retreat. Of course I would ask God to have mercy on me but what about Our Lady, Maman? Or my guardian angel, or St. Eugene… It cannot just be ‘understood’ – I need to make it more deliberate. I think for a moment of the ‘power’ of singing the Litany of the Saints during a Baptism (we do this at my Church) – why not connect with that.
This week is a bit like a retreat, like prayer as I make time to read the materials for one of the courses that starts next week. I am putting myself into a very particular space for my courses. They are in themselves a kind of retreat, a kind of prayer as I listen and read, trying to taste and chew up, go deeper and reflect on all of it. I can do it halfheartedly, trying to ‘fit it in with the rest of my life’ or I can allow it to become part of my daily ‘prime time’. I choose the latter and will have to work hard at that – especially at the beginning.
These steps that we are learning – I am excited to have more. I need to stop myself from simply going to the Spiritual Writings and ‘reading’ them all. They will come but for today I will try to let go of that temptation and relax; allow God to take over my day.