EUGENE, A YOUNG MAN TRANSFORMED BY HIS ENCOUNTER WITH JESUS CHRIST
© Laurent Girard / Studio Mazenod (2011) – Tableau du Jean-Jacques Martin
Around the age of 24 Eugene entered a period of self-searching, a journey that reached a high-point one Good Friday:
So I had looked for happiness outside of God, and outside him I found but affliction and chagrin.Blessed, a thousand times blessed, that he, this good Father, notwithstanding my unworthiness, lavished on me all the richness of his mercy.
Let me at least make up for lost time by redoubling my love for him. May all my actions, thoughts, etc., be directed to that end.
What more glorious occupation than to act in everything and for everything only for God, to love him above all else, to love him all the more as one who has loved him too late.
Retreat Journal, December 1814, O.W. XV n.130
Hmmmmm, interesting – I think a typical 20 year old mindset wanting absolutes in everything in life.
Undoubtedly I was a disappointment to God more often than not over the years. Still He loved me unconditionally and knew where I was headed in my journey even though I was blind, stubborn, and pig-headed. I can’t imagine Him expecting or even wanting me to “make up for lost time”.
Now, I think I am the person He created me to be and He smiles at me. I still have a long way to go but I think He’s happy with my direction and progress. It’s soooo much easier to walk in His footsteps rather than forge my own path.
And yes, now He blesses me in ways I could never have imagined.
There’s no such thing as ‘loving Him too late.’
Took me long enough
John