THIS IS THE FEELING THAT I EXPERIENCE EVERY TIME THAT I CARRY THE BLESSED SACRAMENT
“When you look at the crucifix, you understand how much Jesus loved you then. When you look at the Sacred Host, you understand how much Jesus loves you now.” (St Teresa of Calcutta)
Bishop Eugene expresses his personal Eucharistic devotion during adoration in one of his churches.
While reciting the psalms and canticles with the greatest fervor possible, I gave myself over to a type of filial trust for imploring this good Master to not permit me ever to be separated from Him in eternity. It seemed to me impossible that, having the signal good fortune of seeing him, of contemplating him so closely, of placing him upon my breast, of adoring him while rendering him this duty, it seemed to me impossible, I say, that he would not grant me to follow him and to possess him eternally.
The thought of my sins could frighten me, but, during these precious moments, it seems to me that the mercy of my Savior absorbs every fear and every terror and that there is place in my heart only for trust and for love. This is the feeling that I experience every time that I carry the Blessed Sacrament.
Eugene de Mazenod’s Diary, 15 March 1846, EO XXI
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There is something very absolute in this that I too have experienced – that both Eugene de Mazenod and St Teresa of Calcutta also experienced – each expressed in their own ways.
As a lay woman, I can remember being denied access to the sanctuary, to the altar because lay women were deemed to be unworthy of that – less then men. I am eternally grateful that now I not only get to receive the Eucharist, but as a Eucharistic Minister I get to give the Eucharist to those whom I am sent to serve, share with them what is my life blood. And in taking the Eucharist to the sick – how I get to love and serve those who might otherwise not be able to receive the Eucharist, communion as one with God. Serving the poorest of the poor.
It is no longer for me a matter of gender or sexuality, of country of origin or how another pray and lives out their faith; who others may deem as worthy or unworthy.
Eugene’s words as he shared his thoughts of how his sins could frighten him, I remember the promise that was a part of Jesus saying my name and claiming me as His own. I claim that and ask God to love me more so that I might be filled with Him who is my Beloved, so that I might live for him and eventually die for love of Him. I am human, but I am also loved, forgiven and worthy of compassion.
Not a one-time event in my life but ongoing in every moment of the now. Lived out as fully as is humanly possible even while remembering at the same time Jesus on the cross and resurrected. With God all things are possible.
This is what salvation and redemption look like.