Eugene’s diary reveals his suffering with Jesus on the Cross.
March 25: Good Friday. For a long time, the desperate illness of my beloved Louis has nailed me to the cross, today I had to expire there with the Lamb of God who was sacrificed there for us. While I had left for a moment in order to go to administer the sacrament of confirmation to a dying person, Mister de Boisgelin entered the bishopric; his presence sufficed for me to learn the heartbreaking news, which we were expecting only too much. He was with his son yesterday when [the latter] rendered his beautiful soul to his creator. It was at the very hour when I was here, at the altar, offering the Holy Sacrifice for him, alas! not any more for the healing of his body, but for the greatest sanctification of his soul.
In this way, there is in heaven he who had been our consolation on earth. So many talents, so many virtues, such a good personality have been lost to us. One of the most beautiful jewels of our crown is fallen, a portion of our being has disappeared; for do we not live in the recipients of our tenderness?
Truce, my poor heart, with every whispered thought: God alone is the master of his creatures; he disposes of them according to his very just, very holy and adorable will. Ah! yes, may his holy will be done, were it even to cost our life.
Eugene de Mazenod’s Diary, 25 March 1842, EO XXI
There is so much beauty in this passage of Eugene’s writing about the death of Louis. Death did not just happen nor did it rob him of his life; not for Louis who was offering himself to his Master, Jesus on the cross.
Holy Thursday and we remember Jesus allowing himself to be handed over to the soldiers; an offering. His suffering so greatly in the garden was but a preparation. A model for Louis as he suffered with his illness and then reaching a calm and peace as he waited. Just as Jesus offered himself as the supreme sacrifice of love, and just as Eugene was offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass for Louis, Louis was offering himself to the Lord. He “rendered” himself (that is he handed himself over, gave himself back) giving his life to God.
There is a deep and magnificent beauty here as Louis offers himself, his life to Jesus – his oblation is total.
And then there are Eugene’s words about us living in the recipients of our tenderness. God within us and we within God and that moving in and out of us with each other. The paschal mystery comes to mind but in a way that is yet too deep for me to give proper due to.
As we prepare for the culmination of our Lenten journey, the light of the resurrection is there, waiting to be recognized. This is such a “aha” moment out of time. Who knew that Tuesday before Holy Week would offer a new light for our steps as we move ever closer to Calvary, the cross and the resurrection.