{"id":2889,"date":"2015-10-13T05:00:38","date_gmt":"2015-10-13T03:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/?p=2889"},"modified":"2015-10-13T00:25:23","modified_gmt":"2015-10-12T22:25:23","slug":"i-am-not-yet-immersed-in-god-i-always-find-self-where-i-should-count-for-nothing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/?p=2889","title":{"rendered":"I AM NOT YET IMMERSED IN GOD \u2013 I ALWAYS FIND SELF WHERE I SHOULD COUNT FOR NOTHING"},"content":{"rendered":"

At the time of his conversion, we find nothing in what we have of Eugene\u2019s writings on this theme. It is only several years later, when he was in the seminary and after his priestly ordination that we have some references as he looked back.\u00a0 To his mother he had written, for example:<\/p>\n

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you must have seen that I began to move out of that state of tepidity into which I had fallen and which would infallibly have led to my death<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Letter to his mother, 23-24 March 1809 EO XIV n 49<\/em><\/p>\n

It was in the Ignatian retreat that he did in December 1814 that he reflected on and wrote about his conversion, some 7 or 8 years before. On the very first day of this retreat, he wrote about his prayer:<\/p>\n

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I meditated on man\u2019s end. Passably well. I stayed most with the following thoughts: that God created me, and indeed could only have created me for himself, that he fashioned me according to his designs to make use of me in what he knew would contribute to his Glory and procure my salvation. While as for me, until the time of my conversion, my sole preoccupation was to destroy his work, and in this I was only too successful. Thus I went against all his plans, by my fault; I had even rendered the attainment of some of them an impossibility for the future\u2026<\/strong><\/h5>\n
Since my conversion there has been, it is true, a certain change, but I have nothing to be complacent about in my actions; how far I am indeed from bringing to them the purity of intention God demands. I am not yet, – indeed, far from it – immersed in God. Always I find self where I should count for nothing.<\/strong><\/h5>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Retreat Journal, December 1814, O.W. XV n.130<\/em><\/p>\n

In the context of the Ignatian Exercises, during which Eugene wrote this meditation, Fleming speaks about the conversion process: \u201cAs Ignatius tried to point out, this conversion movement is so basic to Christian living that people need to return to it over and over again\u2026. it is God who calls and graces us again with the newness of this conversion moment. Ignatius, for all his careful structuring of the Exercises, <\/em>never lets us forget that God is always the director of the movement.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"200\"<\/a><\/p>\n

“Conversion is a change of masters. Will we not do as much for our new master, the Lord Jesus, as we did once for our old tyrant lusts?” \u00a0\u00a0Charles Spurgeon<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At the time of his conversion, we find nothing in what we have of Eugene\u2019s writings on this theme. It is only several years later, when he was in the seminary and after his priestly ordination that we have some … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40],"tags":[7,141],"class_list":["post-2889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-retreat-notes","tag-conversion","tag-spirituality"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2889"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2889\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eugenedemazenod.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}