Continuing his retreat reflection, one sees here Eugene’s conviction that one has to “be” in order to “do.” In evaluating the good that has clearly emerged from his foundation of the youth congregation and that of the missionaries, he evaluates the quality of his “being” in communion with God as the life-giving force of his activity.
I took note today that I was not mistaken and already some good has come of my ministry. I could even say some very great good, if I were to focus less on what it actually is than on what it may bring forth in the future, if my infidelities put no obstacle.
The youth foundation and that for missions were mine to do perforce, as God in his goodness had placed me in a position to do them; but how much better things these would have been, if I had put less of myself into them, if I had been more docile to God’s inner voice, worked more for my own perfection, at least in profiting from all that was a distraction to me perhaps, because of my superficiality and dissipation, to make progress instead of going backwards. That is the point I have to reach with God’s grace.
Retreat Notes, July-August 1816, O.W. XV n 139
“but how much better things these would have been, if I had put less of myself into them, if I had been more docile to God’s inner voice,”
As I read this line, I could say the same. If I put less of my ego into what I do and be more open to the infinite Spirit of God working through me then “God’s will” would be manifested and I would then be in harmony with that divine flow. “Thy will be done”
Jack,omi
“Be in order to Do”… God is always the initiator, and it is from this way, this model that we set out on our pilgrimage of life…
I am reminded of Blessed Joseph Girard who was never able to measure the success of his loving service and walking with the peoples of Lesotho. It was with his death that we saw and recognized the profound effect that his being a model of love had upon those he lovingly ministered to. He became a model to follow and to “love them, love them always…” Blessed Joseph’s whole life was one of “fine tuning his attitude to ministry”.
I think this morning of the many sons and daughters of Eugene who have and continue to support me in my own efforts to “love, to love always”, calling me back and walking with me in ways that that help me to continue the ‘fine tuning’ of my own attitude to ministry and how to become more attentive to God’s inner voice”.
Lord, grant that I never become accustomed to thinking that who I am and what I do is enough. Give me the grace to love as you love me, to love as did Eugene and Blessed Joseph Girard, and all those I walk with today as a member of the Mazenodian Oblate Family.