Twenty eight years after his priestly ordination, Eugene reflects on the event and on the spirit with which he began to live his priestly vocation. He reads it always in the light of his conversion experience when he became aware of God’s love for him. Consequently his chief occupation was “to love him” and his “chief concern to make him loved.”
My first steps in the career that the good God had given me the grace to inspire me to embrace, from an early age, were directed by this predominant sentiment in my heart. I refused the venerable bishop [Bishop Jean François de Demandolx, on 21 December 1811] who had consecrated me a priest, to stay on with him as his Vicar General and as his friend – these are the words that he used when he made this proposal.
The holy day of Christmas 1811, a memorable day for me, because it is then that it was given to me to offer for the first time the holy sacrifice of our altars, I refused to give in to such a touching mark of his goodness so as not to be turned away from the vocation that called me to devote myself to the service and to the happiness of my neighbor whom I loved with the love of Jesus Christ for men.
Diary of 31 March 1839, O.W. XX
Yesterday at Mass a parishioner came up to give me greetings and asked if it wasn’t a special Oblate day, like a small feast day for St. Eugene and was I celebrating it. A few months ago I lent him my copy of Hubenig’s “Living in the Spirits Fire” and he had a copy of an “Oblate” calendar so he saw that it was the anniversary of St. Eugene’s ordination to the priesthood. So we talked a minute or two about that. There was a small joy in being able to talk with him about that for a couple of minutes – for this was something so big in the life of Eugene, so much a part of who he was. My friend knew that this would be something that I was thinking of and so wanted to share that with me.
I thought of that this morning reading Franks reflection. It struck me not for the first time of the joy that Eugene held within himself and lived out, real joy in living the life that God had chosen for him, not mandated but chosen. And Eugene’s response was a huge ‘yes’. And then of course I looked at my own life and realised that it was much the same for me. God has chosen this very specific life and way and living for me. I would never in a million years have thought of anything so bold or grand. God said, in not so many words, ‘Come, follow me, I will fill you with riches that will bring you home to me. I will give you a way of being that will allow love to grow and become a part of your very dna. He even gave me the strength and courage to say yes to him. Like Peter in the boat when Jesus called to him to ‘come’ and so he jumped out of the boat to run across the water to the Lord. The passion, the fire, just as it filled Peter, and Eugene and so many others who came before and who walk with me now – filled with a naked and enduring love that eclipses all else. There is profound and awesome joy in living a ‘yes’ to such love. It is so deep that it is almost unspeakable for there simply are not the words to adequately describe it and all that I can do is try to apply some words that are woefully wanting.
These last few days of having the opportunity to talk and share with a few about my deepest love and some of my sorrows. I find myself filled with gratitude and joy, still waiting and preparing. I have found myself singing silently some of the old Christmas carols like ‘O come all ye faithful’ and ‘Joy to the world’. There is much to sing about.