Eugene had lived a very difficult couple of years due to his illness, which necessitated a long recovery. As he was recovering, he was then battered by the political events and persecution caused by the July 1830 Revolution and the anti-religious stance of the new government. At the end of 1831 there was now the danger of a cholera epidemic about to reach the port of Marseilles. He was willing to endanger his life, if necessary, to work for the salvation of the victims – just as he had done in 1814. In order to have the courage to imitate the oblation of Jesus for the salvation of others, he went on a retreat to pray for the graces he needed to be an Oblate for the sake of those most in need.
… today I started a retreat, impelled by the need for recollection and the desire to prepare myself for death in case the cholera requires me to devote myself to the salvation of those of my brothers who will be struck down by it. I take the liberty to recommend myself to your prayers to gain from God the graces I need…
Letter to Count de Montalembert, 24 October 1831, EO XIII n 78
We have the notes of this retreat, and I will be using them for our daily reflections in these coming days.
I think of how Eugene’s whole life was filled with zeal; how he lived ready to give of himself totally to God – for the sake of the mission, for his sons in his new congregation, for the poor around him. His ‘fiat’, his oblation followed Mary’s – ‘let it be done according to God’s will’; it followed the perfect oblation of Jesus on the cross; it followed that of St. Paul and of many of the saints and martyrs who have gone before us; of all who have given themselves one way or another to God.
Here Eugene was not ‘running towards death’ but preparing himself in a way should death greet him as he gave himself as an Oblate to those who might need him most.
I think of the times that I have asked others to pray for me (just as Eugene asked Count de Montalembert) – not so much to ask for a certain thing, but only that I might do God’s will rather than chasing after my own dreams and passions. For me that might mean giving up something that I really love ‘doing’; or letting go of a notion or false ‘basic’ in my life.
I think of yesterday’s scriptures and Samuel’s response to God’s call: “Speak, for your servant is listening.” And I think of what Vlastimil Kadlec OMI wrote as a caption for a picture of a beautiful stone carving which is at the retreat house in Hunfeld, Germany: “Let’s really be what we are meant to be.” (Eugene de Mazenod, OMI).
So Lord – what does this look like in my life? What do my prayers of discernment look like? Am I busy telling you what I want you to be saying to me, what I want to do? Or am I listening and waiting to hear you speak? Am I allowing you to lead me to where you would have me be; to who you would have me be?