As the year 1827 drew to a close, Eugene found himself overburdened by the responsibilities and boredom of his desk-bound work as Vicar General of Marseille. One can touch his pain as he reads Fr Honorat’s description of the successes of the parish missions of the Oblates, and his longing to be back in that ministry that he loved so passionately.
Letter to Jean Baptiste Honorat, 12 December 1827, EO VII n 288 Despite the daily drudgery, he offered it all to God in the spirit of oblation which he learnt from the Oblate Cross that he wore all the time. How present do I allow God to be in the dreary moments that I face each day?
“Do I allow myself to be taken up by God, to be embraced by him, or do I prevent him from drawing close?” Pope Francis
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“How present do I allow God to be in the dreary moments that I face each day?” The difference between existing and living. The images these words present. God knocking at the door, waiting to be asked in. Do I try to do it all myself? What is my attitude as I do my daily tasks, is there bitterness, anger, resignation? Or do I thank God for the opportunity to serve another, invite a smile from another, be with another? Do I look to find God in the mundane and ordinary of my day, even as I take a bus or walk the same route day-in and day-out. Do I allow God to join me as I clean up after another who is no longer able to do that for themselves. A million opportunties present themselves each day – not in a brilliant light or the beautiful peace and beauty of a church. In the ordinary of our days. It often takes a conscious decision, a conscious asking – not something to be taken for granted. Is God there waiting – or do I ask and then allow God to hold me in an embrace so that we go about the day together?
“How present do I allow God to be…”.
This reminds me of a homily from this past week’s Mass, and Samuel being taught to say “speak, Lord, your servant is listening”. We need to give God a chance to “be” for us, as St Eugene writes that he does in offering it all to God: “there is not a single task throughout the day which is pleasant to me and which I do not offer to God with a sort of bitterness in expiation of my sins, so burdensome are they all and hard to accomplish.”
When we are trying to do all ourselves, instead of offering up to God, as Fr Larry Richards notes, it is not like Samuel saying “speak, Lord, your servant is listening”, but rather “shut up God, I’m talking”! Unfortunately, I think I often do the latter.