Travelling towards France after his extended stay in Rome, Eugene expresses his impatience to be in the midst of his Oblates, who are at the heart of all his affection.
I pine, believe me, because of the need I feel to be and live with you all. This latest delay taxes my spirit of resignation to the limit; when I think that, without it, I would already have pressed you by now to my heart, I am saddened; but it needs must be. Adieu, adieu.
Letter to Henri Tempier, 30 May 1826, EO VII n 246
The thought of finding myself so close to you, after having spent six months at so great a distance, adds yet more to my happiness although I do not consider France as the promised land; however as what I love the most in the world is found therein, I cannot prevent myself from groaning somewhat at being held up, like the Israelites, when on the point of reaching it.
Letter to Jean Baptiste Honorat, 28 May 1826, EO VII n 244
… I love to think that in fifteen days there will be no more mountains or seas between us. I leave Turin on Tuesday; do not fear that anything can hold me back in Savoy. As soon as I have dealt with the matter that takes me there and for which, as is customary, you will take care to pray, I get on the stage coach and so arrive, with God’s help, first at Notre Dame du Laus where I will remain two days so as not to disappoint our Fathers and then on to Aix where I could practically suffocate you as I press you to my heart which beats faster just at the very thought of the happiness of finding myself at the core of all my affections.
Letter to Hippolyte Courtès, 31 May 1826. EO VII n 247
“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” Desmond Tutu
This past Sunday I had the joy of seeing someone who I did not expect to see – he was pure wonderful joy and gift. An Oblate who is currently living in another country and who had but a few minutes but in that short time we talked enough that I have spent time off and on in the past two days reflecting on some of what he said to me and my heart’s response to him. God’s gift to me and most hopefully God’s gift to him. He did not eclipse others around me, but perhaps my seeing and chatting with him enhanced my love and joy at being with others. This being able to love so very joyfully and fully and with so many – not wanting to exclude or miss any and yet that growing outward not lessening love for others. Wow I say softly. Thank you God I say a little more loudly. Look Lord at all you have given to me, and it seems to be always and in every way reflected back to you. Wow.
This is my time of discernment as I move steadily forward in the process of becoming an Associate of OMI Lacombe Province – it is deeply personal and yet at the same time being done with others and becoming public. Like a dance of moving in and out, towards and away from, circling, but always coming back, secure within an embrace that frees rather than limits. It is because of this that I dare to repeat what Eugene and Frank wrote together “when among the Oblates I will be at the core of all my affections”.