Eugene continues to meditate on Jesus as model
All metaphor aside, I have been a sinner, a great sinner, and I am a priest. With the exception of having defiled my body with women, a wretchedness from which the goodness of God has preserved me as by a miracle, I have followed every maxim of a corrupted world. The evil has been done, good alas still remains to be done. What I have done up to now is not worth mentioning. People are deceived, I am falling far short of my obligations. I must pay double and when I compare my way of acting with that of my model, my God! how far I am still from it! Pride, anger, seeking of self, etc. How indeed can I say: it is not I that live, but Christ who lives in me [Gal. 2:20]. There are no half-measures, if I want to be like Jesus Christ in glory, I must first resemble him in his humiliations and sufferings, like Jesus crucified; let us try therefore to conform in all I do to this divine model so as to be able to address to the faithful these words of St. Paul: imitate me as I imitate Christ [I Cor. 4:16]. If these words cannot be applied to me, I must renounce reigning with Jesus Christ in his glory.
Retreat Journal, December 1814, O.W. XV n.130