After our prolonged break for Easter, we resume our journey through the writings of Saint Eugene. The year is 1824. Nearly a year after being appointed Vicar General of Marseille diocese, he managed to get away for a few days to go to Aix to do his annual retreat. As we reflect on his retreat notes, I invite you to use these reflections as an opportunity to reflect on and pray about your own busy schedule.
The retreat was a moment for Eugene to stop and catch his breath and re-focus on the direction that his life was taking in the midst of a totally new and busy lifestyle.
God be praised, blessed, and thanked. I have finally managed to extract myself from the yoke that weighs me down, to break the chains that oppress me – and which I must nevertheless kiss (ed. a reference to Saint Paul’s attitude to the chains that kept him a prisoner for Jesus); I am allowed to get away for eight days to our dear Aix house and busy myself solely with the matter of my salvation. Please God I may profit from this pleasant time of rest that divine Providence gives me to enter into myself, explore the depths of my heart, and to identify in my soul all the damage and ruin that the distraction produced by business matters that multiply and ceaselessly demand attention, has produced within it.
Being a “people-person”, Eugene wanted to spend his time preaching the Gospel and accompanying people to lead their lives in relationship with God. The bulk of his work in the diocese, however, was administration in an office. It was a diocese that was being restored after the French Revolution, consequently he, Henri Tempier and the Bishop were occupied with setting up efficient structures for evangelization and ensuring the cooperation of the diocesan priests in this task.
In this retreat Eugene realizes more forcefully how his personal salvation will not come through withdrawing from activity, but through giving himself more fully to the work of the salvation of others. He writes in his journal:
Great God, created only to possess you, having no other real task than to achieve our salvation, why must so many various objects come at every moment and every day to distract us from the application we should bring to it. How often have I not been tempted to abandon everything and busy myself only with my soul. But no: I am told I must save it by continuing to busy myself with others.
Retreat notes, May 1824, EO XV n. 156
“Whatosever you do to the least one of these in my name, you do it to me.” Matthew 25
Eugene – with a heart, truly as big as the world, with such great love for God. It is only natural that he would want to withdraw from the world and spend more of his time by being busy with the matter of his own soul. One of the the big temptations for him, for he was most surely a man who was “sent”. And then to have to spend his time with “administrative” duties. I am sure that Eugene received renewal and new strength and life while he was in Aix. And at the end of his retreat, although he might have loved to have stayed longer in the place that was truly ‘home’ to him, he left his family to return to Marseille, once again being sent out. What are my temptations and distractions – perhaps being busy, or spending more time ‘learning’?
“I am allowed to get away for eight days to our dear Aix house and busy myself solely with the matter of my salvation. Please God I may profit from this pleasant time of rest that divine Providence gives me to enter into myself, explore the depths of my heart….” It seems to me with these very words that Eugene is telling us what he will be doing, and by writing as he does he is opening the door. Is this Eugene’s way of letting go, emptying himself to God so-to-speak? I know for myself, that when I begin a retreat I find a place, be it in my room or on the grounds nearby where I go and I begin by telling God directly “here I am Lord, I come to be filled and strengthened, I come to learn whatever You will give me. So here I am, I let go of whatever might be a temptation, a distraction, whatever I am holding on to that keeps me separated from You. Do with me what You will.” It is a bit of a ritual on my part, but I need to do that and then let God work from there. And then at the end of it, whether it be 10 days, a week or even 3 days I am ready to be sent out again, to live out what I have been given.
“Eugene realizes more forcefully how his personal salvation will not come through withdrawing from activity, but through giving himself more fully to the work of the salvation of others….” As I read this I ponder and think of how God gifts me with love, and I have to say it is truly with others. What kind of joy is it to look at another and see the love of God, the goodness of God. Sort of like a combination of ‘wow’ and ‘ahhh’ at the same time. I am where I belong, just as was Eugene.
Frank it is so good to have you back on line.
Your passion and teaching I do appreciate. Thanks.
Well, this reflection is so me, so us. Are are surely sons and daughters of Eugene. Be “we” deal with dong good things, staying very busy and at times neglecting the conscious “Way”.
And yet in the the two paragraphs we are brought into the tension of not either/or but both and. How do we find the time to sit/pray and study in the midst of ministry? Both have their time and place so that a fuller integration can take place. One thing for sure, we can’t do it alone, we need a community process even though it is often painful to sit though another meeting or sharing session.